Inside the mind of a yorozoku...

It is amazing what times God can speak to you, and why, and how.

In our walk, we ask many questions about the Lord’s love: Why does God love me? How can God love me, after all the sins I have committed? How does God have so much love in him?

God answered these questions quite simply for me tonight, in a manner which I would not have expected, and as clearly as he spoke to me on the subject he told me also to pass it on as loudly as possible, to everyone that I could. So here it is and may it touch you like it did me.

I am an artist of many types so I have experimented with many different materials. However, for some time now I have loved re-purposing older materials, whether restoring or changing completely. I also love socks, for some odd reason, and the brighter the socks, the better. I had a pair of rainbow striped toe socks that were absolutely one of my favorites. However, they didn’t have a very long life. After just a few wears they got a hole. I stubbornly wore them with the hole a few times anyway, and they stayed in my sock drawer, clean and waiting. But tonight when working on a wardrobe for a new collectible doll that’s in the mail, I knew those socks had a new calling. I shall regale you with the tale of that little inspiration another time.

I was a little sad after I first cut into the socks, knowing that I could never wear them again. There was the underlying fear that my idea wouldn’t work out, that I would be left with just a pair of socks ruined for nothing. But slowly the new creation began to take form; as I turned and tested, and found that it worked and held, I felt the thrill of success.

It was in this moment that I heard, clearly, the voice of God. He said to me that this was just like His love. I loved those socks as they were; I was convinced that I had loved them before I had them, they were exactly what I had been looking for. God truly does love us before we come into physical being, He knows us intimately and we are always just what He intended. However, it doesn’t take long for us to be out in the world and to be worn and battered. No matter what holes the world puts in us, God’s love will endure, never-ending.

There will come a day, though, when God will call upon us to be something more. Despite how much He loves us, that does not make Him blind to our imperfections. He has a greater plan for us. If we accept, He will take us and make us something more. It is sometimes frightening to hear that call because we love what we have become, much like I loved those socks and was afraid to make the first cut, but with trust everything turned out right, as it always will with God. This is Salvation; accepting God to make you more than what you once were, His plan, not your own.

Now, anyone knows that even after salvation we are capable of sin, and we will sin. But God loves us because we are made new in the image He desired. As an artist, I can see when my creation is imperfect, when it is less than that of another artist; but if it turns out just as I planned, and sometimes even when it doesn’t, nothing can stop me from loving it. In the same way, after salvation God can forgive us if we sin, because we have already been re-made in the way that He wants.

You are God’s most precious creation. Allow Him to make and mold you not once, but twice: once that He may love you as you are, as an artist still loves their childhood drawings; a second time so that He may make his improvements and make you worthy of His heavenly gallery, something He will be proud to show.

This is the message and encouragement I was given for today; I hope it has touched at least one other as much as it did me. Please feel free to pass this on to anyone you see fit, whether they be Christian or someone who hasn’t accepted God’s path. -JJ

The holidays are arriving and I spotted this on </a></b></a>farasha's LJ. I thought it looked like fun. Who knows what will happen, but I love wishing!

Step One

*** Make a post in your journal. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fun ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

*** If you wish for real possible things, make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.

*** Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your journal, so that others can join in and participate to spread the holiday joy!


Step Two

*** Surf around your friend list to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

*** If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

*** You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.


Add your list, my friends! I might be able to grant some of your holiday wishes.

If anyone wants to grant a wish of mine you can get ask for my address by emailing me at iluvchoclut at hotmail dot com.

Your Element Is Earth

You excel at planning and strategizing. You could be a champ at chess or Survivor. Well grounded, you are able to be realistic and rationalize. On the inside, you have a hard core. It's tough to phase you. You are super productive, and you are able to think anything through. Focused and super charged, your instincts are a good guide for your next step.

I've always known I was an Earth element. Fire too, but this one reads Earth.

TWO DAYS

And I'm already getting presents. My darling fiance got me a tablet, so expect me to crank out digital works of art now. Actually, I am ATTEMPTING to upload a new submission to DeviantArt as I type this, but it's not wanting to upload my picture... argh. Other than that I've just gotten some money. But I know that from my parents, I'm getting a staple gun (why? I want one, that's why!) and some DVDs.

My actual birthday being on Thursday, I'm making Micah go on a date with me in the next couple of days. Don't know where we're going, don't actually care, I just want to spend time with him.

Ooooh, DeviantArt finally let me load my picture. http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/53933366/

Anyway, random update out of giddyness. Woot!

My fish died last night.

Sounds odd to be emotional over a fish, doesn't it? But he was a little sweet thing. Energetic and responsive and cute. What really got me upset, though, was that I feel guilty. I think he got too cold while I was gone... we had the heat turned off over the break, and didn't get it turned back up before he died. Now my mom tells me that it might not have been the cold. But either way... I miss my Kurogane.

I'm not ready to get another yet. We even went and looked today, and there were lots of pretty fish, but I didn't want one. I might get another after school's out... by that time I'll be better. Until then, it's just me and my tree.

This was the Chicago weekend, and it was amazing. Spent all kinds of time running around, shopping, drawing wank-comics, playing (and laughing at) KH2, and just being our general chaotic selves. It was hella cold, so that wasn't much fun, but it was all worthwhile anyway.

Well, there will be wank-comics posted later, either here or on my buddy's page... I have to scan them, and I'm too lazy. Y'see, in the last 48 hours or so, I've gotten less than five hours of sleep. And so, it's almost bedtime. I don't know why I'm even bothering to post here. Because I can, I guess.

Okay, yet another meme stolen from cup_ramen_chaos because she's my only friend.



First, write down the names of 12 characters (it's best when they're all from the same fandom). Then read and answer the questions.

You can't look at the questions (or click on the cut) until you write down the 12 characters you're going to use.

Fullmetal Alchemist FTW!

1.Lust
2. Greed
3. Roy
4. Sheska           
5. Hughes
6. Scar
7. Al
8. Major Armstrong
9. Winry
10. Riza
11. Pinako
12. Ed

Have fun. It scares me.

Well, I took this quiz that cup_ramen_chaos  showed me, but I think it's highly inaccurate... there were too many answers that should have had multiple choices for me. I'm into novels AND poetry, I knit, crochet, AND sew, I've definitely read more that just "60+" books in my lifetime, and of the six choices they gave for nerd-types to classify myself... I pretty much classify myself as all of them.

Yup, I'm just an all around nerd people. Damn proud of it too. :P

Now, I can't make the darn thing display right for me. If you want to see what it looks like, it's on CRC's page. *points upwards* I'll give you the description of my "top" nerd quality. I recommend you visit above link to find the quiz... because LJ hates me.

BTW, I scored high on everything but Musician... everything else was at least a good sixty-some-odd percent.

Social Nerd- "You're interested in things such as politics, psychology, child care, and peace. I wouldn't go so far as to call you a hippie, but some of you may be tree-huggers. You're the type of people who are interested in bettering the world. You're possible the least nerdy of them all; unless you participate in other activies that paled your nerdiness compared to your involvement in social activities. Whatever the case, we could still use more of you around. ^_^"

Yeah, I'm a tree-hugger neo-hippie. No, seriously. ><

cup_ramen_chaos has tagged me. Fabulousness. XP

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next three sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
6. Tag five other people to do the same.

Oh, you lucky people. I'm a college student. The closest book to me is my biology textbook from last semester. ^_____^

"To some degree, we all need to understand a little chemistry to deal with topics that, at first glance, might seem unrelated. Consider the tsunami that struck Asia in 2004, killing an estimated 176,000 people. It was feared that this number could double because of infectious diseases. Therefore, it became crucial to prevent the spread of disease."

Dry and boring enough for you? Yeah, I had fun with it the first time around, too.

Okay, I did the thing, but I don't know five people. So the spread in this direction has stopped... for now.

Well, I'm back and SO glad to be. I really love my parents, I swear... but a week of them is a little bit much, especially when my mom starts in on one of her frantic rants about how of COURSE I'm still coming home every weekend after I get married! Spend time with my new husband? Have my own life? Why would I want to do that?

I'm still kind of irritated that my parents won't let me drive to Chicago alone. I'M TWENTY YEARS OLD NOW. Well, close enough anyway. They've been there with me before. They know that there's a safe parking garage for my car, and I'm staying with my best friend who they know and trust completely. They even said last time that it wasn't such a bad drive. But no, they still have to go with me. At least they've agreed to wander off and let me run around with my friend. For a while it was feared that my dad couldn't come, in which case my mom would want to come hang out with us... the dread. But, it worked out well. Bridesmaid dress shopping, here I come!

But I'm not all complaints. I've got a bit of bragging to do, too.  All this weekend I sat in an uncomfortable, smelly stadium, surviving on beef jerky and candy bars. But it was all TOTALLY worth it. My cousin, Jake, who's only 12, qualified for kids' State in wrestling. Then, not only did he WIN, but he didn't let anyone score a single point on him. He was on FIRE! It's amazing to watch those kids go at it- he's in the 85 pound weight bracket, so he's lean and kind of small for his age. But he's so FAST! Every time we watch him, even if he's not dominating like crazy, I just bust at the seams with pride. He's good, but he's really worked for it. Wrestling takes a lot of strategy and technique as well as brute strength, and it also takes a lot of discipline. And to top that all off he's a GOOD kid, and all the people he wrestles really admire him for his sportsmanship as much as they do for his skill. It's the second year watching him at State and we're really hoping for a third. It's so much fun!

Chicago in two weekends!

Well, I'm still having one of the dullest spring breaks in the history of the world. I'm still sick-ish, but getting better daily. I cook every day. In fact, this is being written between dishes. I'm making brownies next. ^__^ I don't know why I'm bothering to write in here today, even. I guess that I'm just bored. I feel like a stay-at-home mom without the kids to entertain me. Yesterday, pulled together a dinner party, even. Had my grandparents over, got lots of compliments on the food. Woohoo? And today I'm making lists for the wedding. Lists, lists, more lists. Gah.

Watching too many home improvement shows on TV has me wanting to rearrange and paint my mom's house. Of course, she would KILL me if I tried to do anything to her precious house. I'd do my own room except that involves unscrewing bookshelves from the walls. But I'm about ready to do it anyway. It's painted with clouds from when I was a sixth grader and still liked kiddy stuff. If it's going to be my mom's guest room after I get married- the one I'm expected to sleep in, no less- it really needs to grow up. I just have to figure out how to paint it and then convince/trick my mom into buying paint. That's not complicated at all, is it? No, not at all. I'll totally paint it myself, I just have to drag the furniture out. Or maybe I should try to get my fiance involved... one way or another it's getting done before June. With only weekends to work until May I'm not stupid enough to say I'm getting it done before then.

I also really want to find out what apartment I'm going to be living in. I want to start shopping for stuff. But even if I start shopping I don't have anywhere to STORE the stuff. There's room in my giant bedroom, actually, but my parents won't carry things like sofas up the stairs only to move them back down again in August. I don't know yet if there will be room in my fiance's house for storage so, I don't get to shop. Oh well... maybe I'll just do my ultrazen living room like I really want, but may not get because my fiance can't decide if he likes it or not. Ultrazen does not include sofas. Just lots of floor pillows and bright colors.

*sigh* Two weeks until I get to see my best friend for the first time since November, I'm looking forward to that. That's about all I'm looking forward to lately. Not much else is going on that really makes me happy... everything is just blah. Maybe I'm in a bit too much of an angst-fest, but hey, I think I deserve it every once in a while. Everybody expects me to be all happy all the time, and I can't do it. Today I'm going to shake my fist at the world and tell them to buzz off while I sit in my emo corner and brood about my life. I need it.

Well, it's my first full day of official spring break. The weekend doesn't count since I'd've had that off anyway. So, what do I do? Clean all of my parent's house. ALL of it. Dusted, cleaned floors on hands and knees, scrubbed down the bathrooms, etc. Why? My mom has made me her slave. When I come home I cook and clean.
No, not really guys, I'm not Cinderella. I'm paying off a debt- my mom bought me Guitar Hero because I agreed to work for her to pay for it. Now the cooking, I actually do, but I don't get paid for it. Curse my love of domesticity, I feel so used.
Best part was, I'm not feeling well, and I cleaned everything anyway. I would've put it off a day, but there's no guarantee that I'll feel better tomorrow, and my grandparents are coming for dinner. (Guess who's cooking? You guessed it, I am.) So I wanted to have it done. I haven't gotten any wedding planning done yet, and that's my goal for spring break. So, wish me luck on finishing up all my duties- lots to do still.

Well, I wasn't going to do it. I'm still not sure if I can or will keep up with it. But my darling buddy cup_ramen_chaos convinced me. Bah. I've nothing interesting to say yet, so... yeah. Later all.